it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
