He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
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