I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
