you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
