If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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