who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
