Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
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Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
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