My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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