But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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