It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
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