i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Randomize
