I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
