Please, let me fuck your mom
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
