i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
