I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
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I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
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I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
You are the jesus of drinking
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
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