Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
