what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
