I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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