i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
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He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
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my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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