We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
