better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
