eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
My vagina is very pro this idea
Randomize