Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
