the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
