Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
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I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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