u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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