I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
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