the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
