dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
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