It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
