yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Randomize
