I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize
