Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
