I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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