Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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