Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
