I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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