don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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