oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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