i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
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You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
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Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
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