dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Randomize
