So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
