What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Randomize
