Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (512): its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants. http://tfl.nu/mk0c
  Replies (46) Good night (1200) Bad night (4617)
• Favorite

  (618): View more from Illinois

  Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (618): Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake http://tfl.nu/xsco
  Replies (50) Good night (5958) Bad night (1069)
• Favorite

  (803): View more from South Carolina

  The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (803): The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german.... http://tfl.nu/l2d8
  Replies (42) Good night (13004) Bad night (1068)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (732): I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college. http://tfl.nu/q6b4
  Replies (13) Good night (701) Bad night (3763)
• Favorite

  (808): View more from Hawaii

  Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (808): Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger. http://tfl.nu/99q6
  Replies (8) Good night (1455) Bad night (4152)
• Favorite

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (859): I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny." http://tfl.nu/6v00
  Replies (8) Good night (1066) Bad night (5992)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  Man, jail baloney is awful.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (516): Man, jail baloney is awful. http://tfl.nu/9ubn
  Replies (33) Good night (1057) Bad night (4065)
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (816): He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock. http://tfl.nu/m79f
  Replies (5) Good night (2452) Bad night (675)
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (304): What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like? (859): i already know. Delicious. Use ranch. http://tfl.nu/w6yr
  Replies (19) Good night (3681) Bad night (697)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (503): I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight. http://tfl.nu/rrui
  Replies (8) Good night (2746) Bad night (750)
• Favorite

  (563): View more from Iowa

  he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (563): he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on. http://tfl.nu/j2lo
  Replies (9) Good night (799) Bad night (1914)
• Favorite

  (707): View more from California

  you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?

  (1-707): View more from California

  yeah, you wanna come?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (707): you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store? (1-707): yeah, you wanna come? http://tfl.nu/465p
  Replies (9) Good night (1693) Bad night (623)
• Favorite

  (804): View more from Virginia

  Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (804): Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive http://tfl.nu/45br
  Replies (9) Good night (2053) Bad night (662)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (203): How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things. http://tfl.nu/sk0c
  Replies (2) Good night (541) Bad night (857)
• Favorite

  (812): View more from Indiana

  Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (812): Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check. http://tfl.nu/axr2
  Replies (6) Good night (417) Bad night (308)

Randomize