i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
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The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
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Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet