i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Shame is for Republicans.
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