no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
