Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
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Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
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I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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