Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Randomize
