were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
