So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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