My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Randomize
