toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
