Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
where does the pee come out of this thing
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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