I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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