IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
