Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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