quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
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She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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